Media Exposure

[Couple Relationships / Infidelity / Extramarital Counseling] Recent foreign research has found that among individuals who have cheated, a staggering 85% of affairs involve workplace partners. Karen, a senior EAP consultant at the Christian Family Service Centre - Vital Employee Service Consultancy has encountered numerous marriage cases during her years of workplace counseling, including instances of workplace infidelity. She emphasizes that both the cheating partner and the betrayed spouse carry significant psychological burdens. Through marriage counseling, they can identify the root causes of the infidelity, repair, and rebuild their relationship. Moreover, when companies engage professional organizations to provide counseling services for employees, they can offer timely support to colleagues at the onset of such "office romances," becoming crucial in the marriage restoration process.

1. Couple Relationships | Husband Neglects Wife Due to Work, Falls into Workplace Infidelity

Karen encountered a profound case involving David, a successful executive who, due to his demanding job, increasingly neglected his family. Over time, his emotional connection with his wife, Linda, became strained. During a company event, David developed an affair due to frequent interactions with a colleague. When the situation came to light, it caused deep emotional trauma for both Linda and David.

2.  Couple Relationships | Betrayed Partners May Experience Loss of Confidence or Depression

Karen explains that the betrayed partner often experiences shock, anger, and sadness, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and a sense of helplessness. Some may entertain thoughts of revenge or attempt to salvage the relationship while also re-evaluating its future. At that time, Linda went through immense pain, anger, and loss, feeling a profound insecurity in her marriage. This situation severely impacted her, resulting in depression, making it difficult for her to face those around her, and she took a two-month leave from work.

3. Couple Relationships | Cheating Partners May Escape Problems Due to Stress

As for the cheating partners, they often linger in feelings of guilt, self-blame, and inner conflict. They may experience immense pressure from having to choose between their partner and the third party, sometimes opting to escape from the problems altogether. The uncertainty about the future and the fear of potentially losing their family often exacerbates their psychological burden.

4. Couple Relationships | Wife Diagnosed with Depression Seeks Marriage Counseling

Upon learning that Linda had been diagnosed with depression, David felt a deep sense of guilt and began to reflect on his choices and responsibilities toward his family. He realized that handling the affair on his own could worsen the situation due to emotional turmoil or a lack of professional support. Aware that his company offered counseling services through a professional organization, he invited Linda to seek marriage counseling together, hoping to foster open communication in a neutral and safe environment and to prevent conflicts from escalating. With the assistance of a professional counselor, they explored the underlying causes of the infidelity and collaboratively discovered concrete methods to repair their relationship.

5.Infidelity Counseling | Betrayed Partners Should Focus on Physical and Mental Adjustment When Facing Infidelity

Karen first helped Linda release her emotions and gradually restore her basic trust in her partner. She advised Linda to focus on physical and mental adjustment, offering the following suggestions:

1. Avoid Isolation: Talk to trusted friends or family for support, and avoid isolating yourself during low emotional periods.

2. Control Impulses: Avoid confronting your partner or the third party when emotionally charged; address issues after calming down.

3.  Postpone Major Decisions: Refrain from making hasty decisions, such as divorce, during emotional upheavals. Give yourself enough time to process the situation.

 

6.Infidelity Counseling | Marriage Counseling Helps Couples Reflect on Their Relationship

Additionally, Karen guided David to take responsibility and deeply understand the negative impact his actions had on his partner and their marriage, laying the groundwork for repairing their relationship. She also helped them explore the root causes of their problems, discovering that David's infidelity revealed deeper issues in their marriage: emotional detachment, communication barriers, and imbalanced roles. David had neglected the family due to work pressure, while Linda felt isolated and lacked emotional support within the marriage.

Karen assisted them in letting go of their defensive attitudes, fostering more open communication to rebuild understanding and share their needs with one another. At the same time, they reevaluated the value of their marriage, learning from this crisis to find ways to repair and improve their relationship.

7. Infidelity Counseling | Rebuilding Relationships 

Repairing a marriage requires a mutual commitment and effort from both partners. Under counseling, David and Linda learned to communicate transparently. David committed to maintaining distance from the third party and applied for a work arrangement adjustment. He established healthy boundaries between work and family, such as setting fixed family time and avoiding non-essential work matters at home.

Additionally, they created a weekly "date night" to enhance intimacy and took specific actions to rebuild trust, such as proactively sharing their daily schedules to help Linda gradually regain her sense of security. Linda also learned to express her needs and feelings openly, rather than bottling them up. She began participating in David's work discussions, showing her support for him. Together, they faced future challenges, and their marriage gradually became more stable, with a renewed sense of hope emerging.

8. 婚外情輔導｜「攤牌」CLEAR五步曲

Karen 表示，一旦發現伴侶有第三者時，「攤牌」是一項挑戰。妥善處理能減少傷害，並為關係提供理性檢視的機會。「CLEAR五步曲」能幫助彼此更有效地進行對話： 

C - Calmly Start the Conversation（冷靜開場） 

•    用平靜的語氣開始對話，避免情緒化指責。

L - Lay Out the Facts（陳述事實）

•    以清楚、冷靜的方式表達你掌握的具體事實，避免模糊或情緒化的控訴。 

E - Express Your Feelings（表達感受）

•    說出自己的感受和這件事對你的影響，用「我」的語句來描述，而非批評對方。 

A - Ask for Their Side（詢問對方想法） 

•    給對方空間解釋，不打斷或過早下結論，專注傾聽。 

R - Reflect and Discuss Next Steps（反思並討論未來） 

•    回應對方的解釋，並一起討論接下來的方向；如果需要時間冷靜，也可以坦承表達。 

David和Linda的經歷提醒我們，職場上公私交織的情況往往影響著家庭關係，若當事人能適時尋求專業的輔導，便能突破自處的盲點，在管理情緒之餘亦可修復婚姻關係。

撰文 : 盧沛而 基督教家庭服務中心「盈力僱員服務顧問」高級EAP顧問

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